i feel like im a desert/ocean syncretist in some ways. i really appreciate the way people talk about the ocean. its so vast and filled with incredible waves.
i love the ocean so much.. in theory.
the problem though is that it is full of life that i am unfamiliar with and i am very squeamish about and whenever im at the beach and touch something weird, i very suddenly do NOT want to be in the water
re: sex and relationships and stuffi said in many ways in the last post but didn’t really elaborate. she prefers the term transsexual and i,, well i lean more towards the term transgender than she does. tbh i dont feel like either term really fits how i feel. to her its more about changing how one exists to others within the world. for me it is also an active process of changing oneself. physically, yes, but thats more to prevent isolation than the goal in itself. for me it is more spiritual ig. if i was asked to name a transition goal, i would lie say i dont have an answer, but i do. it is a peaceful sea.
sex and relationships and stuffshe is more physical than me in many ways. like, she can be quickly attracted to people she meets. bodies and movement kinda do something to her brain thats a bit odd to me. she has definitely had sex with people.
im no less of a freak and attractiveness is a factor, but its fundamentally relational to me. its about what theyre doing to me on a relational level. who is the central question rather than what is being done or felt physically. have i had sex before? kinda. not in the cut and dry way she has though. ive done things with sexual intention with people that i enjoyed. nudity wasn’t really involved let alone genitals. no orgasms were involved nor particularly desired.
@ellie i was specifically taught to pee standing up but switched to sitting down as i got older for practical reasons. im tall so if pee hits the water it inevitably splashes back out and i really hate that. its also very loud.
